You have the parental authority

You have the parental authority

Parenting is a full-time job, but you need not worry, start where you are,  use what you have and do what you can. Like any other career, it requires time, effort, discipline, hard work, determination to put everything in order. It is not a walk in the park. The beautiful thing about parenting is that you are the most influential person in your child’s life. They admire you, they want your validation, your love, your affection, and of course your guidance. They get their values from you, and interestingly, they end up parenting like you. In fact, they will do so much like you unless they make a deliberate choice to go in the opposite direction.

With this in mind, it is imperative that you look at your own background and what it taught you about your body, sex and of course sexuality. Was there a conversation in your home about bodies or surrounding this particular subject? Did this affect how you viewed matters sexuality? Well, the earlier you are informed and talk to your kids about it, the better for both of you. This is because children – nowadays- in this age of technology are taking in a lot of information, and without proper guidance, they can easily fall astray.

The human brain grows the most between the age of 0 and 5, meaning that they’re taking in way more than they can ever voice. They’re taking in so much; values, prejudices (some of which is verbal but a lot of it is nonverbal). All those looks you and your sister give each other in the car when you’re talking about a certain person, when you sneer, laugh or whatever it is, your child is taking in all of that and they’re learning what is OK and what is not okay.

What then defines success for you in this given area? Will you be successful if your child gets to 25 and male or female they are an uninformed virgin on their wedding night? Will you be successful if you raise your daughter and at 21 she’s sexually active, knows all about contraception and protection and she’s like I’m not getting pregnant until I’m 31 or whatever it is? She can express herself fully to her partner and say I like this or I don’t like this, is that your idea of success?

You have to define it. Success, especially in parenting, has to be designed. So make sure to talk to your partner about it. He or she will surprise you with some of the things he/she wants especially when it comes to boys and girls and raising them.